It’s my birthday and I’ll eat Ben&Jerry’s, IHOP and sushi if I want to. I’ll also drink all of the boys under the table and take a nap because I’m still hungover from last night’s festivities. I’m getting old!
One of my teachers told us this: “Own what you say. If it’s something amazing, be proud that you said it. If it’s something stupid, laugh it off. If it’s something rude, explain why you said something hurtful. No matter what it is, own it. If someone challenges it, say ‘Yeah, I said that, and this is why.’ But don’t run from what you say, because you said it, and it’s out there.”
I was in awe of this advice when she gave it to us. I think it’s something we all need to do, and moreso, I feel that I can honestly say that I do own the words that come out of my mouth; I say what I want, when I want to, and I can back up my words when it’s necessary.
So right now I wish someone would own their words. Grow some balls and tell me who wrote what they did. Stop using anonymous and fake names and say what you want to say. Because that’s how you feel, so why are you hiding yourself? I would never put an anonymous alias to anything I have to say.
And if the fact that I have a gap in my teeth bothers you so much, don’t talk to me. But if it does, I think you have bigger problems than my orthodontia. I think you need to find some kind of happiness inside of yourself or, at the very least, a fucking hobby. Because I would never—absolutely NEVER—go onto a hate site with the intention of posting pictures to hurt someone else. That thought wouldn’t even pop into my head.
You know what else I’m not doing? I’m not writing hurtful things about anyone on the Internet. I’m not calling anyone and saying mean things. I’m not spitting on them, or dumping my drinks on their backs, or calling them names as they walk past me. I’m hanging out with my friends and I’m graduating college and I’m starting a career and I’m traveling and I’m repairing my relationship and I’m not hurting ANYONE. So stop trying to hurt me, and stop hurting yourself, because in a few years this will all be very embarrassing for you.
Or at least, I’d think so. I’d be mortified if, at the age of 23, I pulled shit like this. But maybe I’m just weird? Weird, gap-toothed and fat, right? Fat butterfaced essay-writing gappy bitch, that’s me.
Sidenote: Next time you want to use something in an argument against me, steer away from the gap. It’s been there since my teeth came in; that was many years ago, my friends. To be blunt, my family has a lot of money. That money could have been put towards braces if I wanted. I don’t care about the gap. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t hurt me in any way and hey, guess what? It doesn’t hurt you either. If you don’t like it, don’t look at me. And if the only thing you have against me is a gap in my front teeth, then I think my life’s going pretty good.
Anyway. I’m sure you’ll all shit on me for writing this. Hence the song lyrics; they were always a favorite. I guess NONE of you wrote it, right? That shit just popped up on that site all by itself, because NOBODY has enough guts to say, “Yeah, that was me.”
So feel good knowing that you did something to hurt someone who didn’t do anything to hurt you. That isn’t sarcasm—I want you to feel good about it. I want all of you to feel amazing about continously picking on someone who keeps their mouth shut and their head down and who, at the end of the day, didn’t do anything to deserve it. And don’t bother using the whole, “If you didn’t care then why’d you write all that?” line, because this is the first time I’ve ever acknowledged any of the shit I get on a regular basis and it’ll be the last. So chill out! And get the fuck off my page =]
In the meantime, while you’re all still following my every Internet move and going out of your way to talk to me when you see me out […even though you don’t care about me, right? I’m nothing to you, right? Oops…not true], I’ll be over here with my gap and my fat and actually having enough of a life and enough of a heart to not try and hurt other people to mask my own insecurities.
I guess I’m done now. And I hope you’re not shocked by how long this is—I am an ‘essay writing bitch,’ after all.
It’s only day two but I miss school already. Sitting at graduation made me feel sad as I looked around at the people next to me because I know I’m going to miss being stuck in Visual Presentation class for 6 hours with them and laughing about a certain teacher’s nastiness. I never thought I’d enjoy school so much!
i just graduated! and it feels really good. it hasn’t hit me yet that i finally have a degree in visual communications…but it will. for now, i just want to sleep, because i haven’t in 3 days—but it was worth it. the whole thing was. FIDM was the best decision ive ever made.